Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

 

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales.  This week, I'm in Carmarthen with Chris Corcoran.

 

Good morning ... uh ... Mrs. Evens.  I apologize ... uh ... for not saying "Good morning, Mrs. Heavens" at ... right at the top of the show.  We had a technical problem. ... Uh ... and, Korkey and I, live on BBC Radio Wales, had to ... uh ... change studios with about ... um ... a minute and a half ... uh ... to ... uh ... shift studios, didn't we, Korkey? / That's right, yeah, / shift all my little newspapers off the floor, / Yeah, / ... and shuffle them down here ... but we __ ... / I'm out of breath / you were half way through setting up your little nest ... / I was / ... of papers, weren't you? / I was.  I was halfway through in the other studio, / そうそう。元のスタジオでは、もう段取りが半分くらいできてたんだ。そこで急に、スタジオを移ってくれだと。 / Yeah, / now we have had to move __ studio __ anyway __ __ and, in the kerfuffle, in the confusion, we didn't get a chance to say, "Good morning, Mrs. Evens."  I apologize.  That could be the first time in ten years. / I think it might have been.  Mrs. Evens would be gutted. / Huh?  She would be gutted. / I'll tell you what. I quite like the way ... / back in the game now, though / What? / it was delivered to us __ like, "Sorry, boys, we need to go and change studios, and we've actually been upgraded. / Yeah, yeah.  The whole time we've been doing the show from Carmarthen, we've been in the ... uh ... studio B, should we call it? ... 'cause we've just been upgraded to the proper radio studio. / Yeah. / Uh ... / It's like someone at ... uh ... the check-in desk going, "Sorry, I'm terribly sorry, sir, we're gonna have to upgrade you to first class. / お部屋がないもので、同じ料金で上のクラスのお部屋に移っていただきたいのですが、いかがでしょう？ / It is. / Come through, would you, sir?  There's no room back there, I'm afraid / We're sorry about that / Really sorry about this / would you like to have free champagne? / Uh, I've just noticed a clock up there.  I mean, I know you always say that I get very distracted __ __ / you do get distracted by things. / The clock which is in these studios, / Huh huh, / ... in all across the BBC, don't they  ... __ these __ having __ I don't know __ __ these __ __ __ I don't know, what __ call / "atomic clocks" or whatever / digital ones / by the moon ... at least ... at least the internet, if not the stars, / Yeah, / ... they're run by ... I mean, they are precision ... __ __ ... / They tap into the biorhythms of the earth / Exactly. / Yeah. / They tap into the waves __ all that, the biorhythms of the earth, as you say.  It's ... uh ... just gone ten past seven, according to the one here in Carmarthen, ... just gone ten past seven / 7:10 になってる（この番組が始まるのは 11:00） / Yeah, and the second hand is still going. / 秒針 / It's ... / .... Don't get us wrong. It's not not working / let's just synchronize watches / I make it ten past eleven. / ただしくは 11:10 くらいだよね / I didn't realize I was so out / 気を悪くしないでください。故障してるとか言ってるんじゃないんです。ただ、我々はこんなに時差があるとは思わなかったんです。 / The biorhythmic ... earth-biorythm clock, here in Carmarthen, is just four hours out. / It is very agricultural, though, isn't it? in this neck of the woods. (in this rural area, far away from civilization).  Maybe there is (are) different times. / All ... / ... maybe I will put our clocks back far enough. / All the things that half the world is worried about right now haven't happened here yet. 

 

It's all a bit last minute here, __ __ is my seat too low? / Yeah? / yours is too high? / No, I'm all right.  My seat is good. / I can't / swap __ if you want / I can't / then that doesn't solve the problem, does it? / Hmm. / __, that's just musical chairs, mate, innit? / Yeah, / ... that is. / yeah, but you'd be comfy, and it is your show / it's ... I don't ... / I'm just saying I can offer ... uh ... I'd offer / Hmm ... I don't trust you / I don't trust you, mate. / What do you mean you don't trust me? / I've known you far too long to believe that you would give up your chair if you were comfortable, / Do you think I / ... __ __ because it's my show / Do you think there's something wrong with that chair? / __ __ away __ __ last minute. / Either that, possibly, live on air, or ... / You've got a bad back.  I'd never do that. / ... or you don't like your chair. / Uh, no, it's comfy, my chair. / I know you.  You don't like your own chair, / おまえはそういうやつだ / and now you are trying to sell it to me / like it was a benefit to me / __ __ / you are the ultimate salesman. ... Uh ... /__ offer __ __ try __ I bet I would find there is a spike in it or something. / All right.  It's up to you. / Uh, now then, look, we've got ... What have we got?  You've got the newspaper there.  I can see you are on the sport (looking on the sports page) / on the Western Mail / yeah / a big day for sport today / It is a big day for sport again / Wales playing Argentina / Good luck, Wales. / Wales playing Serbia, / Good luck, Wales. / England playing South Africa, / Um ... uh, either way. / Yeah. / Good luck, ref. / Uh, England playing ... England playing Australia in the rugby league. / No, I'm ... I'm going to go with, like, England on that. Come on, I live in London. / Yeah, good / Uh ... what's the other one? / Uh ... rugby league. / Oh, blimey, / Yeah, / I'm ... I'm running ... I'm running out of ... uh ... good will here. / England/Oz (Australia) / Huh. ... Come on, England. / Yeah.  Fair enough. / Fair enough, innit? / Yeah, yeah. / Huh? ... Don't shout at me, listeners.  I live in London. What do you want me to do? / This is a global show.  It has a global reach. / This is a global show.  We've got more listeners in Australia than we have in Wales. ... Come on, Australia ! ... No, I'm getting totally confusd now. ... Anyway, look, here's the newspapers.  This is the first __ ... there is the ... So, I've got lots of stuff here, right?  I've got Celebrity Out Of Context Bingoes, I've got On the Spots, Yes No on the spots, / yeah / I've got the non-stories / Great. / Do you want the non-stories first, perhaps? / OK.  Non-stories are always rock-solid. / Yeah.  And it's such a bad week for news, this week, because I couldn't even find three non-stories. / Good heavens. / 'cause ... __ __ 'cause there has (have) been a lot of stories / huh that's because it has been a good week, yeah / Well, you know, / is it? / there has been a lot of news, hasn't it? / a lot of news, yeah.  That's what I mean. ... Non ... Look, this one has been sent in by Rob Lingham.  He's sent in __ non-story / uh, / but this is a story, I think. ... It's your decision.  You are the co-host. / これは、ノン・ストーリーというよりりっぱなストーリーだと思うんだが、判断はお前にまかせる。 / OK. / I'll just ... I'll just read them out / Yeah, / ... in an unprejudiced, unbiased way.  He's on about the Toblerone ... uh ... / Huh, / ... change. / Huh.  Furious. / Right?  Other chocolates are available / That's a ... that's a story. / I'm gonna ... I'm gonna throw something out here. / ここで正直に言っておかねばならないが / I've never had a ... never had one. / You've never had ... What?  Not even a chunk? / I don't think I have ever had even a chunk. / Good lord. / None. / Have you never been abroad and been through duty-free, / Yeah, / ... and impulse-bought something, / 免税店で衝動買いをしたことは？ / yeah / ある / ... and you didn't impulse-buy a Toblerone? / No. ... Other chocolates are available. / Huh. / No.  I've never had one. / Huh. __ you __ no opinion on this either way, really. / ... part of it, I think, is, just / I don't know how to break them off. / どうやって折ればいいのかわからなかった / You know, / technique / snap / back / No, no / you put it in your mouth / bite / __ __ agony.  That's ... that's the technique / no / bend it back / snap / physics, innit? / Uh ... how would you mean? / Well, most people grab it by the end __ __ try and break them forwards / Yeah, / but that's really hard. ... I mean, with the new ... with the new version, __ more gap ... basically, __ ... if haven't heard __ __ more gap and less mountain bit__ / Yeah. / less / __ less chocolate is the issue. / Well, I don't know about that.  I haven't ... uh ... looked __ / I do know / Do you? / Yeah. / Huh.  Tell me. / Yeah.  It's less chocolate / Is it? / Yeah. / チョコレートの分量が減るってのが問題なんだよ。 / 隙間があいてるのが問題だと思った。 / Fascinating. ... I knew there were less spik__y bits __ more gaps / Ergo, less chocolate / それはすなわち、チョコレートの量が減ることを意味する。 / Yeah. ... It says, / they've changed / look and weight / in the UK in an attempt to meet rising costs / Yeah. / __ __ bend __ back on itself __ __ it's physics / __ __ itself / and it snaps easier. / Right.  OK.  / you / a lot about __ __ never had one / 一度も食べたことがないわりにはよく知ってるな / hey, I ... I know the physics of Toblerone.  I've just never had one. / What's it like, daddy?  What's Toblerone like? ... Other chocolates are available. ... Um ... __ ... / Do you know the physics / other chocolate bars / or / just specifically / Toblerone / any chocolate bar you like. / What ... what's the physics __ __ Mars Bar? / Uh ... what?  What do you mean / specific question / physics / Physics is a broad subject. / I got it, then.  What's the best way ... / should / for having 10% in a mock exam.  I got my head __ __ __ tapped and __ kicked out.  It was the 80's.  That kind of thing was fine then. / 当時はそういう体罰が許されたんだ。 / そうそう。その体罰は、80 年代の基準ではまだ甘いほうだ。 / ... Yeah, that ... that was mild in the 80's. / __ ... __ deputy head master found me in the co__, / Yeah, / He said, "What are you doing / soaking / wet / standing in the co__ / chucked out of that one / physics / __ get in that one there. / しょうがないな。そっちに入ってろ。 / what did you go into? / Welsh. ... __ __ __ week before __ levels. / ... Huh, brilliant. / Isn't it great? / Did you answer __ physics in Welsh __ __ / that __ __ school__ in the 80's / get / class, it didn't matter / only a week to go.  You __ __ no hope anyway / その教室に入ってろ / 何の教科の教室ですか？ / 教科なんか関係ない。本番試験まで一週間しかない。何を勉強したって同じだ。 / that's / organized education __ __ wasn't it? __ as long as you __ __ class, __ __n't matter. / 当時の「教育のよりよき組織化」は、「そのへんの教室に入ってろ」というものだった。 / __ is how __ __ __ __ __there.  Get in there. ... __ __ drier there. ... __ __ ... Anyway, so, what's the Mars Bar physics?  I don't know / easiest way to / Mars Bar / the only __ physics I know is that you bend __ Toblerone back on itself / and / it snaps / that's / thrown out / level / level / What?  Physics? / Yeah. / I was thrown out. / No, no, but, did you sit the exam? / No. / Oh, I see / I was thrown out of the whole ... / Every single lesson? / Yeah / physics __ ... get out of physics, ... the concept of physics, you are out.  Get out. / 物理の教室から追い出されただけでなく、物理から追い出されたんだ。 / Right. / That was it.  I didn't do the exam.  I did ... I did Welsh. / Huh, right. / __ got put into Welsh, one week before the exam.  I did Welsh. / I bet you passed it as well / Got a "great" __ __ / GCSE.  Bang ! ... If was in control of the music, I'd press PLAY now.  You can't beat that.

 

Now then, look, we didn't finish Non-stories of the week.  We started talking about the first one / __ __ there was so much in / so much to talk about / I don't think you can choose / as a non-story / that was the ... uh ... Toblerone / other chocolates are available, ... um ... putting bigger gaps between the ... bits, / Outrage. / ... you know, between the triangular bits / __ __ snap / do you think / outrage / Yeah. / Do you? / Of course. / Right. ... OK.  So, that's quite a big story, then. / Yes.  It's not a non-story. / Maybe you'll think this one should win the Non-story of the week / OK.  __ __ __ hit me / Lisa Snowdon has topped up her tan to get ready to ... for I'm A Celebrity. / Oh yeah. ... Yeah, that's a non-story. / It's got a whole page. / Huh, __ it? / __ I __ throw __ __ there must be more to it / And there wasn't? / No / ... There you go. / Oh, what a world !  / Yeah. / What world !  I despair.  I despair __ ... Now then, do you want some news? / Yeah. / ... because a lot of the news this week has been dominated by ... uh ... you know, certain things, but I ... I mean, we can't really talk about that too much because ... um ... I think __ be just explode, probably, so, / Yeah, / ... I think we should avoid it.  But ... um ... / other news here.  Do you want to see other news / Would it be helpful if I said "Yes" ? / Uh, yeah, __ be helpful __ / Yes, please. / look at this, / An African pygmy hedgehog / I mean / This is promising. / listen, I have been ... I'll level with you.  This week, a lot of the news is about the American election.  It's not easy to find other stuff. / Huh. / But listen to this, / Huh huh, / __ struck gold. ... While that was going on, / Huh huh, / a ... an African pygmy hedgehog ... / Huh huh, / 世界がアメリカの選挙で大騒ぎしている間にだな、なんと、... ウェールズの道端で、アフリカン・ピグミー・ヘッジホッグが見つかったというのだ！ / ... was found in ... on a roadside in Cardiff. / Good lord. / ... while all the fuss __ going on over there / and that's a Welsh story / Not only __ is __ a Welsh story / in fairness / fairly high up __ __ agenda / not only that / an African pygmy hedgehog / I don't know how much you know about them / Very little. / Well, / I / story / how much do you know? / Nothing. / I / know what a h__ looks like, / Right.  OK. / I know where Africa is, / Right, / I know __ "pygmy" means small. / Right. / So, you already know quite a lot about this __ / Well, I'm assuming a lot / his name gives a lot about him away, __n't it? / don't leave much to your imagination, __n't it? / 名前が非常に親切で説明的なので、どんな動物かは容易に想像がつくだろう。憶測の余地がない。 / name / s__ / fair enough / m__ / about that / what? / based on its name? / Yeah. / nothing at all / nothing at all / It sounds a bit like a man, doesn't it?  A man playing golf / "man at tee" / rabbit / on the basis / name / nothing / Right. ... So, / African pygmy hedgehog / Yeah, / actually pretty good / Very informative. / Very informative. / It's a good name. / Not only that ... It is a good name. ... Do you think __ __ better name than that / In terms of information / g__, nothing.  Pig? / Cat ?  Nothing. / Nothing. / doesn't tell you anything / dog / human / mouse / just / names like Brian or Jeff / Even "lama" is very vague. / It is, / Innit? / Goldfish, ... huh,  I found one. / Gold fish? / I found one. / That's a terrible example. / Yeah. ... __, __ ... how would you mean? / Well, I ... / informative / h__ / otherwise __ __ __ whole list / know / I know what a cat is.  I know what a / yeah, it's gold something / __ much more informative / __ __ "gold" in it / tells us / if you __ "gold mouse" / yeah / that would be better than mouse / Exactly. / Gold lama, ... / Yeah. / could go on / Gold finger / Gold finger. / Yeah. / That's not an animal / We got it. / Buzz. ... Uh ... what ... what was that about? / Well, __ __ we were trying to say __ __ __ __ informative / アフリカン・ピグミー・ヘッジホッグという名前はとてもわかりやすいって話をしていたんだよ。 / __ really informative / Yeah, OK.  So, what's __ ... / Even __ African elephant / doesn't / no, it doesn't / Does it? / nor __ __ what color __ __ / or how big it is, ... or ... / but the main difference / African and Indian elephants is that ones in Africa got bigger ears, innit? / 名前が、特徴を全然表してくれていない。「アフリカゾウ」は説明的なほうだが、それさえも、「インドゾウより耳が大きい」という特徴は読み取れないじゃないか / That's right, yeah. / I'm not talking about / real / genetics / I'm talking about / kids / kids __ __ spot __ __ animal books / Yeah. / would spot the difference / OK. / ... Anyway, the point is, ... / I'm not sure there is much point, mate. ... The point is, / Yeah, / __ while the American elections were going on, / アメリカの選挙がなければ世界のトップニュースになってたところだ / Sure, / This ... / story __ normally higher up __ __ agenda / short African hedgehog / Yeah, / as we know, ... um ... they can't even survive in the wild in Britain. / Wow.  Why so? / It doesn't say. / All right. / I presume ... / Temperature? / I presume ... / Africa? / 'cause it's African and it's too short / combination of __ things / yeah / so, ... I don't know, / one / one is too cold and wet / cannot / get / different food, innit? / different food, different culture, / Yeah, / ... plus __ __ really short / I / Britain / stuff / maybe / ind__ / reach __ __ buttons on the lifts / サイズが小さいから、エレベーターでボタンに手がとどかないんじゃないかな / ... exactly / they've got lifts in Africa, mate. / Oh, OK, yeah, but if __ __ __ designed for the pygmy hedgehog / アフリカのエレベーターはピグミー・ヘッジホッグ用に設計されているだろうし / you know. / Africa / Christmas / アフリカの子供たちは今日がクリスマスだってことを知っているだろうか / um ... I don't know __ __ ind__ / I presume there are ... sort of ... uh ... uh, I don't know / Africa / anyway, the point is / Anyway, the point is ... / Come on, mate, there ... there's gotta be a point. / The point is, they can't survive in Britain / there __ was, in Cardiff by the roadside. / つまり、要点は、アフリカン・ピグミー・ヘッジホッグはイギリスでは生存できないはずなのに、なぜかコーンウォールで見つかったということだ。ミステリーだ。 / Wow. / a bit of a mystery, is it? / I told you / still / news this week /

12:57

We are trying not to talk about ... um ... Trump or __ American elections, or / we are trying to talk exclusively about animals ... / Yeah, / __ __ / __ __ no consequence, / Right.  Well, listen to this / ... 'cause it's the ... it's the tradition of the show. / ... Yeah / and / get / it does / it takes your mind off things / Huh huh / like / there is a lovely story / I was __ __ beach yesterday / down in ... um ... Pembrokeshire / yeah / ... walking __ dog, right? / __'s a lovely start of story / Innit? / Yeah. / And somebody said to me, "Oh, have you heard it, Rhod? / uh / somebody ... somebody in ... I think ... Newquay, in Cornwall, today ... today ... / and this is ... I thought, / this is the antidote the world needs, / Huh huh, / innit? / half the world needs / stressed half at the moment, um ... he said, "There's a guy who's got an 18-year-old greyhound, / Yeah, / ... and ... he's ... and ... he's put it out on social media that the 18-year-old greyhound, I'm afraid, sadly, is gonna have to be ... come to the end of his jour ... journey with us, / Yeah, / ... uh, on this beautiful planet / uh / that's happening today / take / on / last walk ... / Huh, / ... on the beach, I think, down in C__, somewhere, and everyone's ... __, not everyone, but a lot of people, / Yeah, / ... are going __ tak__ __ dog / walk / with this 18-year-old greyhound / his last walk / huh / bea(ch) / don't well up.  Don't cry.  Stay strong. / Right. / they're walking this dog __ __ now people all over the world are coordinating their walks in Australia, in ... / Yeah, / in Sydney, Melb__, ... / in South Africa, in ... all over the world, / Yeah, / ... people are coordinating their walks, __ all the different time zones, they're coordinating __ that point in time __ walk along the beach / Wow. / symbolically with this dog / look / is / look ... see, there it is / pick up that bit of paper down there.  See ... see the picture of the ... the guy with the greyhound / that one. ... W__ / Huh, there he is. / W__'s last walk. / __ __ W__ / Owner asked the public to join dog's final outing.  It was __ 9:30 this morning / I couldn't go, / huh, / ... I couldn't go because I was in a different part of the country and I was on air / How nice is that? / Very nice. / Isn't that nice, innit? / Yeah. / ... In these ... in these troubled times, / Yeah, / ... how nice is it __ W__ __ bring the world together like that? / It's a sweet story. / Here's another animal story. / OK. / Uh ... / Rats laugh and giggle whey they are tickled, / Huh. / ... scientists have found. / Do they? / ネズミが？ ほんとに？ / Yeah. ... Yeah. ... Uh ... / If you want to tickle a rat, you ... um ... approach it / it says / ... O ... obviously. / Yeah, you've got to, lads.  You've got to start somewhere. ... Um ... / if you tickle it, / Yeah, / I found a dead rat this week, by the way, / OK, / ... in my dad's shed. / ... OK. / Right.  So, I ... / Is this a little ... uh ... little digression, is it? / Yeah. ... Luckily, I hadn't read the__ story first, otherwise I might have attempted to tickle __ / s__k.  Really smelt. / Really? / dead / nothing personal / そのネズミが臭かったのなんのって。いや、ネズミのことを責めてるんじゃないよ。死んでるんだから、多少臭うのはしかたがない。ネズミのせいじゃない。 / うん、ネズミに悪気はないよ。 / not his fault / fault / the last person to be blamed / in fact, if anybody, it's dad's fault / because / dad / just found a dead rat in the shed / "Oh, yeah, I know." / Oh. ... No. / I said, "What do you mean you know?"  He said, "I have been told about it." / ネズミが死んでるよ / 知ってるよ / 知ってるってどういう意味だよ（何でかたづけないの？）/ 誰かがそう言ってたんだよ（だから知ってるんだ） / Huh. / who told you __ __ people apparently / told him there / dead rat / none of them / you / spaded it out of the shed / Nobody did.  I did it. / Did you bury it, or chuck __ in __ bin? / um ... / bin a rat / I gave him a __ing ceremony / flicked / きちんと弔ってやった / 隣の庭に投げ入れた？ / no / what ... what did you do? / I ... uh ... I ... uh ... well, I __ __ __ tickl__ __/ if you tickle them, they laugh and gigle / they emit ... uh ... ultrasonic squeeks beyound the range of human hearing. / So, you don't ... / Yeah? / ... you don't hear anything if you tickle a rat / have to take my word for it / __ / they are enjoying it. ... / ネズミの笑い声は人間の可聴域を超えているので、聴こえはしない。だから俺の言葉を信じてもらうしかない。いいか、やつらは笑ってるんだ。 / You can't hear it. ... Uh ... / Some __ ear __ __ tickle / best area __ __ body / behind the ears / Yeah, / ... um ... uh ... / it says, / Rats enjoy tickling ... / Huh, this is interesting. / ... only when they are already in a good mood, / Right?  Is that right? / ... scientists have found. / It says, / If you are ... if / rat / in a bad mood / more / irritated / of course, yeah, / I / I think any ... any m__s are the same. / any / tickle it in a nice way / yeah / it can ... it gets irri__ __ __ somebody carries on tickling / __ __ __ / anyway, rats are exactly the same, apparently. / Is that right? / It says here, uh, / there are numerous similarities between rat and human ... uh ... __ness.  So, if you you are gonna tickle a rat, do / while __ in a good mood / dead one, I ... um ... I gave him ... I did give him a nice ... a little ceremony.  I said a few words. / Can you remember what you said? / Yeah. / I said, "Dad, whatever you __, don't stick your hands in that bin because / rat / ... Right. / ... Don't forget there's a rat in that bin.

 

Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales. 

 

Hey, look at this, / Yeah, / Roast potatos are ... uh ... favorite Christmas Day food__ / Next: E__ Story / OK.  We / all back in the game / we are all back on track. / Yeah. / Yeah.  OK.  and / there's nothing else to say about it, really / it's ... uh ... it says here, ... no / good old roast potatos are __ favorite / Christmas / I mean, I don't think / any / there's no surprise, is there? ... __ you?  Would you?  Would you?  Have you? Are you? ... would you? ... I wouldn't. / Is it? / I know ... I know I wouldn't / are they / I think / question __ __ looking for. / tried everything there / I tried / every combination of ... every ... / I was wating.  I gave you the space. / 君があらゆる質問をリストアップできるように、間を空けてあげたんだ / Is it? I mean ... do __ ... do I? / Well, I'm not sure. / Uh ... / Turkey ... / it says, / Yeah, ... put it down the list. / This is the food, not the country. / Put __ / T__ ... / __ it could be the country. / t__ / second place by carrot__ / disappointed __ __ as a nation. ... No, I think that's the food, innit? / トルコがニンジンに負けたなんて話だったら、悲惨だな。... いや、多分これは七面鳥の話だ。 / Yeah, I think __ __ / __ __ says ... says ... uh ... / T__ was beaten to second place by ca ... / hang on a sec. Hang on a minute. ... I don't understand / just / carrot __ __ top / ニンジンに負けて二位になった、てことは、ニンジンが一位ってこと？ / Let me read this to you. / Go on. / This is / D__ M__ / it's only yesterday / to t__ this out.  This is important.  I can imagine there are people listening to this can't get on / their day / この問題を片付けないと、人々は気になって、その日の仕事が手につかないと思うよ。 / let me / so, can we / seriously for a second / OK / The good old roast potato is our favorite Christmas Day food, / OK, / ... a poll found. / Fine. / That's not the country __ __ __ opinion poll ... opinion poll / Yeah, yeah / __ good old roast potato is our favorite / that suggest__ No.1 to me / フェイバリット ... ということは、ナンバーワンだと、俺は解釈する。 / of course / t__ / beaten to second place by carrots. / It's ridiculous. / That __ suggest / is No.1 / read on.  Does it explain it? / Christmas p__ __ __ surprisingly way down __ ninth / yeah / behind bigs in blankets / not that surprising / That is quite surprising. / What?  No. Pigs __ __ should be much higher up / Huh, you are right. / Yeah. / Christmas pudding / very heavy / OK / would you expect / No? / No, I wouldn't, actually. / No?  Nor me. / As a child, yes, but not now. / Not now. / No. / Not __ __ __ grown-up / Not if the poll was done by adults __ __ / oh, now, this is surprising. / Huh huh, / Christmas / behind / sprout / that is surprising. / Huh, yeah, / that is surprising / that probably is surprising. / No, __ __ definitely surprising. / Yeah. / Are you surprised by it? / Uh ... yeah, on the basis of all ... / here's the thing / I would ... personally, I'm not surprised by it, / Oh, hang on a minute, / ... but, in terms of what is associated with sprouts __ __ / Trump / there / you change your team __ __ __ two-second turn-around / I can see the benefits now in this. ... No, I have spoken to a person about it. / I don't understand __ / Huh, / it says here, / Roast potatos are No.1 / turkey / second place by carrot / You work that out. / ロースト・ポテトは最も人気がある。そして、... は、ニンジンに負けて、二位だ。... てことは、一位はロースト・ポテト、ニンジン、どっちだ？ 答えてくれ / Do you know what that's an example of ? / Work ... work that out. / Read ... read your work through before you publish it. / Yeah.  I should have.  But I was just __ __ ... / no, no, they should have.  It's not your fault, Rhod. You__ just read it out / need an editor / They need something. / look at this / this ... uh ... got me thinking. / Huh huh, / You know ... uh ... prince Harry, this week, has ... uh ... perfectly, ... uh, legitimately, asked for the ... uh ... __ __ __ __ __ / not to climb into the home of the mother of his girlfriend / yeah, that kind of / that kind of thing / yeah / that's the kind of stuff / yeah / you know / I'm aware of the story. / ... Um ... __ you know she's come to London? / Yes. / uh, she's been staying in Buckingham Palace / I, in no way, wish to ... uh ... perpetuate ... uh ... the ... uh ... issue and ... uh ... intrude in their lives __ whatsoever.  It just got me thinking about what it must be like if you __ ... if you / just a f__ normal person / to come over and stay over ... stay over in Buckingham Palace, because ... / I thought ... I thought there's a feature in it.  There's a feature in it: Have you ever stayed over in somebody's house for whatever reason, / Yeah, / ... uh ... and / little ... some kind of surprise or weird experience? / I / 'cause it got me thinking / she's obviously ... probably / hang out, normally, / as __ as B__ Palace, right?  I know she's ... uh ... I know she's well off and / she / yeah / may well have a very gl__ous life style, but / stay / it? / I doubt / fit in / maybe not so many butlers. / Yeah, exactly, exactly, / ... that sort of things. / I just / must be quite weird / I would definitely find it weird / definitely / going back to the ... uh ... ear(ly) / 80's ... late 80's, I think / yeah / Picture the scene __ late 80's.  I stayed in the house of ... uh ... somebody posh, / OK, / ... and ... uh ... I went to the toilet in the middle of the night. / Welsh posh, or / actual English posh / very / completely / do posh, let's face it / English posh, this was / quite posh. / OK. / Nothing ... I mean, we're not ... we're not talking posh posh posh / No, but __ genuinely ... / We are talking ... / ... reflects the description of the word "posh" / we are talking ... m ... middle-middle class English, which is very different / Huh, middle-middle class? / very different from __ middle class Welsh / very different.  Um ... well, this is how different it was. ... Uh ... I got up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, right? / Yeah. / off I went to have a widdle in the middle of the night / as __ my p__ / yes / right? ... nothing wrong there, ... um ... uh ... the police arrived __ five minutes later / How come? / Uh, I had trodden__ on a pressure pad in the hallway, that set off an alarm that was attached to __ police station. / ... That's excellent. / ... Genuinely __ / __ under the carpet? / under the carpet, hidden pressure pad alarm ... uh ... Remarkable. / Wow / Remarkable. / So, how are you supposed to / loo / I have no idea, mate. / I don't know / That's really weird. / I don't know / How do they go to the toilet / その家の住人は、普段は、どうやって夜中にトイレに行くのだろう？ / were you downstairs?  Is that what __ __ / upstairs / I was already feeling like a __ ... / __ __ / as a ... you know, a Welsh boy from Carmarthen in this posh English house.  I was already __ / out of __ __ / a little bit / outsider sy__ / Yeah, / what do you call it? ... i__ sy__ / How funny. / Yeah, I know.  So, I was thinking there's a feature in that, innit? / surprise / What did they say? / Huh? / What did they say when __ __ up __ alarm go off __ __ just a silent ... / 警報が鳴ったんでしょ？ それとも、音は鳴らずにただ警察に通報するだけのタイプ？ / I didn't speak to __ / owner of the house / dealt with it all. ... Uh ... but, anyway, yeah / out / sort of ... uh ... next day, really, I think, as I remember, you know, I had a ... __ __ couple of __ __ you know what I mean 

 

... Soap, razor blades and towels are among products better stored out of bathrooms, experts warn. / __ __ __ trying to make this a bit more ... uh ... / apparently ... / ... threatening than it actually is / you shouldn't keep soap in the bathroom, apparently. / Huh.  Why is that? / Um ... / ... 'cause it goes a bit soggy? / __ __ list of items damaged by the heat and humidity of bathroom / That makes sense. / ... especially in modern homes / yeah / where else / keep __ outside, can you? / They're ... they're best kept elsewhere / __ __ what __ __ but that's ... just ... No one's gonna / stupid story / Stupid, innit? / Isn't it?  No / outside __ __ __ before you walk in __ bathroom / just stupid, blah blah blah / Let me ask you these: Do you __ __ soap __ in there? / In where?  Bathroom? / Yes. / You shouldn't. / OK / Do you keep __ razor blades / bathroom / yeah / You shouldn't. / OK. ... Why?  Why?  You haven't said. / __ my favorite one __ this list, though, right? ... is ... because __ __ on this list of things we shouldn't keep in the bathroom, are ... some of them are ... __ ... kind of ... / makeup, right? / Yeah / maybe you could keep makeup out of the bathroom / Yeah, yeah. / Right / That one / probably, yeah / 'cause, apparently __ humidity makes ... / of course / makes / bit / all / make things go soggy, / Yeah, / ... a bit weird, ... you know, __ __ ... j__, it says, ... yeah, / why would you keep j__ in the bathroom / some people do, mate / well, this is like / don't keep / you know / アクセサリーを風呂場に置くなって？ そんなやついないだろ。それを言い出したらリストは無限だ。トマトの缶詰を風呂場に置くなとか。 / いや、実はトマトの缶詰は風呂場に置いていいんだ。/ だよね。缶だから熱や湿気の影響を受けないよね。例が悪かった。 / tinned tomatos in the bathroom / list / all sorts of stuff / __ tins of tomato are fine. / ... I realize that was a bad example / tin / yeah, but __ ox__, __n't it? ... / J__ / suffers oxidization. / right / don't keep / j__ / makeup / soggy / don't keep that in there, right? / don't keep them there __ __ __ a bit damp / but it says, ... it says __ __ ... my favorite one __ goes __ soap / go / oh, come on, you have to keep soap in / reaction I gave / imagine most people / lazor / I suppose you could keep / my favorite one is towels / Yeah, / if you can't keep towels ... in the bathroom, / Yeah, / ... I mean, what is the answer to that? / タオルを風呂場に置くなって、... じゃあどこに置いたらいいんだ？ / Well, exactly. / Who __ ... / __ __ just a stupid story. / If you ... / don't keep towels in the bathroom?  Come on. ... You know how annoying it is / cold __ __ bathroom / help, help / exactly / can you bring me a towel / stupid story / It's ridiculous. / what about shampoo? / doesn't mention / shampoo / Mustache Quiz / coming up, ladies and gentlemen. ... It's November, right?  Uh ... / This is an exciting moment.  Here we go. / as you know / says / if you are growing mustache / men across the UK / Yes, / have ditched their razors / Oh, for goodness sake. / おいおい、それだけはやめてくれよ / Don't put them in the bathroom, whatever you do, folks. / Ditch then in the bedroom, right? / Yeah.  Leave / around the place / that's what / I / don't do that, kids.  It's just a silly joke. ... Uh ... / men across the UK / ditch / for November / so ... uh ... it's about men's health / good cause / yeah / people / right. OK. ... So, here comes the quiz.  I have highlighted ten facts about mustaches here.  Are you ready? / Yeah.  Shoot. / Uh ... you've got 2 minutes .  Your time starts ... hang on a minute.  What time is it? / just __ __ __ so, Carmarthen time. ... Um ... How many __ __ a man's face? / Uh ... 50,000. / Wrong. / between 10 and 20,000 / This is surprising.  I'm gonna put / Question B / second __ ... / How many hairs in an average mustache / Um ... 5,000. / No. ... You're so far off it's unbelievable. / __. / I would have gone / 5,000 / good guess / 500 / top lip / I don't know why / looking at each other's top / it's just ... it's just to see the surface area, innit? / 髭はないが、そこを見ることによって、面積の見当をつけることはできる / roughly work out how many could get on there / I / look / at your face / oh / That is surprising, innit? / surprising, yeah / nice __ mustache fact. ... OK.  If you grew a mustache for one month, / OK, / ... how much liquid do you reckon you could hold in it?  So, if you took a drink of water or something, ... how much ... / What? / how much liquid stays / you take a sip / if you grow a one month mustache / OK, yeah, yeah / oh, that's a good one. / Right. / here's the scene / pub, it's November / end of the month / growing it all month / Yeah, / 30th of November, you go to a pub for celebratory pint / Got it. / Right / you / big sip __ your beer / whole of / like, right up to your nose? / right, right, right / you take a __-sip __ your beer, / Yeah, / ... how much of the beer stays in your mustache? / Huh, in __ m__? / OK.  Well, I reckon, about 100 m__s / 100 m__? / no / a third __ __ __ stays in your mustache? / allowed / plane / wait a minute.  Uh ... 10 m__ / まてよ ... 100 ミリリットルというのは飛行機に持ち込んでいい水の量だった。ちょっと待って。 / are you / if you take a sip / you could actually get on __ plane with an ille(gal) ... / __ sip __ / illegal amount of water in your mustache / 髭がそんなに吸うんなら、飛行機に、禁止されている量の水を髭にしみこませて持ち込めるぞ / ... No, obviously, I take that back. / I'll tell you what, folks, / I've thought it through now / よく考えたら変だ。取り消させてくれ / found / way around it / take / water off you / we've found a way round it.  Grow a mustache / put / little plastic bag / wring it out when you get onboard. / ... 10? / 30. / Huh, OK. / It's quite a lot, innit? / __ __ / 30 mil ... / Yeah, / ... of water / I thought __ __ all right / one tenth of a can of pop, pretty much / That's a lot, innit? / in your mustache / OK.  Next. / I think your 2 minutes are probably up. / OK.  Buzz. / extra time / What did the B__ give away with their album, S__ P__ Lonely H__ C__ Band? / A mustache. / Yeah. / 30 seconds left / on the clock / Mustache Quiz / got 1 point so far / you are not doing very well / in __ Nevada, ... um ... it's ... it is illegal for men with mustache to do what? / ... Um ... go fishing? / No.  Kiss women. ... This is an easier one. / Police / in India / paid to grow what because / more respect / Mustache__ / Absolutely right. / 2 / In the V__ era, a mustache spoon was / soup __ __ stop soup going where? / in / He's absolutely right.  3 points.  He ... / Stong finish. / He did / you did crawl it back three, mate / 3 points / this / end of the / nice to see you, mate. / Good luck, Wales / Good luck, Wales / A Good luck, Wales. 

 

If you enjoyed that, why not listen to the whole show, Rhod Gilbert live on Saturday mornings, BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

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